It's okay, I will just walk away. Smiling from the outside, dying from the inside

It's been about a year but you are still the person I want

   Hello. I know I have not posted in a while but I have so much feelings bottled up in me. I just can't keep it in anymore. It's silently killing me and I can't take it anymore. :( Is it even possible to have to much, so much feelings for a person that you can't even take your him of him for a second? This is currently happening to me right now. I tried to let it go but I can't seem to do it. I don't have the courage to even approach him sometimes. It's not like I can control my feelings, anyway. How I wish everything will work out smoothly so I wouldn't have to worry so much. Why I do care anyway? Does he care? Do you feel the same? What am I in your eyes? If only these questions will be answered, so I wouldn't have to keep my hopes up high everytime and end up getting disappointed. It hurts me to the core. I really, really, really like you a lot. Feelings are so weird. I can't do this anymore. I can't get anything done properly. I need to get my way back to find my old self. I can't just  let this destroy me slowly. Sometimes, we just have to take the chances that we have before it goes away. I hope things will work out soon...and I hope you will maybe talk to me more. Should I just forget about it?


'If it's meant to be, it will be.' 

Who lives by that quote anyway?



Signing off,
7 

Carefree

 I just want to be carefree.

To not care about things that make me sad, to not let others bring me down, to be happy all the time, to do things I love, to not let something small spoil my day, to find someone to share my happiness with, to have fun with people I love, to forget people who hurt me before, to move on from people who left, to care about people who care about me, because society is that selfish.

I’m starting to realize life can be really simple and also complicating at the same time. At the end of the day, it’s how we make it worth living. So I’m not gonna worry anymore, whatever happens, happen. I have spent too much time worrying about this, worrying about that. Day after day, it finally hit me. Worrying every single day will not change anything, cause the next day I would be worrying, too. What’s the point of looking back all the time?

The fact that being treated the way I won't want to be treated is bothering me, alot, alot. I can't even go by a day without thinking about it and it hurts me to the core knowing that he doesn't care. Nevertheless, you can never make someone to like you. If they like you, they will whereas if they don't, then they won't. Yeah, it's hard to swallow the harsh truth but I have to do it. Time heals. It may seem hard now but I know in years to come, today might just be another page in our lives. Even though the heart is aching now, but smile. Smile even though your heart is hurting, smile even though your heart is aching. This is a part of growing up and making ourselves stronger. Just go with the flow, if it works out, it will. I’ll get there. And they always say, “The less you care, the happier you will be.” :)

My new baby.

Hey there :) As promised, I just bought a guitar. Teehee. Playing it 24/7 .


Some pictures :)

                                       

                                               Being vain with the guitar #2

Sigh.

Life is getting harder day by day. How am i supposed to pull it through? One Word. sien

Hi

Sorry for not updating lately, again. I was pretty 'busy' this whole time despite my exams just ended